• Chris Edwards

Lurch, 2015

thong nai pan yai, thailand (feb 2015)

This morning a slug appeared in our bathroom.

How he managed to crawl half way up the wall was a mystery; once lodged in place he failed to move from our rising at 7:30am til noon. It was time for him to move out, he wasn’t paying rent and while I am sure he was attractive to his mother, we find slugs rather disgusting.

Especially the breed from BC’s west coast where they mass in profusion and leave long trails of nasty slime…

But I digress.

Front told his brother, dubbed Lurch (his charming looks and manner reminded us that character from the Adams Family), to remove the intruder.

I thought this would be fun to watch as Lurch seemed quite useless around the resort, picking up an occasional plate from a table or raking smooth the sand. In the shallow end of the gene pool perhaps.

Lurch wanders over, broom in hand, climbs onto our bungalows porch, proceeds to undo the clothesline. WTF.... Is up with that, methinks.

He mutters something in pigeon English and hands me the broom, staring at the final knot in the clothesline. When I return from trying to dislodge the slug from the wall with the broom handle (glued fast to he wall), Lurch is gone.

Nine Takes Care of Business

Return to Front, where able servant Nine is dispatched. He grabs toilet paper, unplugs the mollusk from its perch, chucks it in the garden, done.

Just another day in paradise.

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